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Winter Diaries #2 ~ Merry Christmas

What does Christmas mean to me?

The smell of prime rib fills the dining room as I sit with my plate of food at the table where my family sits. It's getting late, but we're not tired. We wait for midnight to open the boxes under the mini tree that glows in the living room.

Since I was small, a dream of mine was to have a large gathering of my loved ones, and we would all enjoy a lovely evening around a table. There would be no moment of silence as relatives talk and talk.

That sense of belonging in my family has always been missing. At best, I would go to my friend's family gathering and feel the commotion, but I never felt welcomed in those spaces.

I wanted that for my own, with people I called my loved ones.

My family is small, and we don't show affection towards one another as much as others may. And that's okay. I've come to accept that every family is different when it comes to celebrating the holidays, and it comes down to the thought of spending it with anyone at all.

Every Christmas, I am in a different place in my life. So much changes from one Christmas to the next. The people I think about change, how I think about myself changes. But every year, I thank God for having someone to love.

Someone that will wish me a merry Christmas. That's what Christmas means to me.

(we love snow too.)



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