Summer Diaries #5 ~ Farewell Summer Break, Hello High School

Perhaps you too are heading towards a new school later this month, or your summer life has already soaked up the unfamiliarity of foreign environments, people, and sheets of homework. Maybe nothing is new at all, and summer is still as present as the sticky temperatures and lack of rainy days.

Slight changes have already interfered with the delight of summer relaxation, and the calendar has already shed another layer where the red X of "first day of high school" grows more visible and frightening by day. I still cannot believe that almost four years ago, I spent every day without many worries, playing four-square on the slanted cement yard of elementary school until five. It's been years since I've played pretend cooking shows with friends in the school garden using curly spirals from bushes as noodles and shaved twigs as toppings. My imagination has shrunk more than I wish it had, and the reality of maturing is as scary as it sounds—if not more.

I've always considered myself as a reserved kind of person. That fear of being that way in a school where I'll have to show all sides of who I am has taunted me through the summer. My parents often reminisce about their colorful, bustling lives as high schoolers. It's difficult not to dwell on being unable to measure up to that. As silly as it is, it's more complicated than it sounds to not hope for everything to be perfect when so many things can go wrong. Especially when all you want is for things to go smoothly. How horrible would it be to mess up a year I'll remember for the rest of my life?

Movies and shows aren't even reliable when I need them most. How many of them are focused on romantic messes and being singled out as different?

As much as I wish I could give advice on settling into a new school, I too am on a journey of self-acceptance after such a tough year. I hope to share my year as a freshman and help anyone struggling to seize this challenge.

With that, it is time for summer to come to a close, and say adieu to a long, much-needed break. I appreciate you, dear reader, and I wish you the very best.

-Chloe

End of Summer Diaries series. See you next year!