Summer Diaries #1 ~ Flowers
Graduating from middle school gave me a strange feeling. Logging out of Zoom for the last time and thinking, "That's it? I'm done?"
Wednesday, June 2nd, was a diploma pickup day. I felt uninvited while waiting in a clustered line of classmates I've known for years. I waved shyly at my homeroom teacher as he walked by and looked me in the eyes with no recognition of who I was behind my mask. With a sigh, I hid behind chattery parents and hurried through the yard full of cheering teachers. I knew in my heart that even though the social skills I once had were gone, I was going to miss this school.
My shoes were killing my ankles, and the bitter-cold weather prickled my raw fingers from holding heavy loads all day. People were constantly walking up to me, asking me for things, and pushing me. I just wanted to go home.
But then I saw a woman in a purple blazer with a shiny dragonfly clip that was brighter than anyone around. Next to her was a tall student with recognizable curly brown hair constantly being approached by parents and friends.
I was happy. It's funny how in a swarm of people, two or three people can put a smile on your face when you're feeling alone.
I ran without thought to the people I have only seen on zoom for the past year. And boy, did that make my day.
One day has passed since I graduated. I find myself chuckling as I think, "I would be
logging onto second period right now."
With small plans for the summer, I sometimes feel nervous that I'll lose myself again. What if I start weighing myself again? What if I start hating myself for being lazy?
As of now, I don't want to create problems for myself or anyone else around me. Graduating from middle school is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I don't plan to waste this time to celebrate.
However, I will not stop looking towards the future. Whether it be making small lifestyle changes, or committing to something big over the summer. May this be a call to those who are encountering change, boredom, or nervousness. Summer is here.
Seated on our living room shelves is the bouquet of roses I was gifted for graduating. Wrapped in the prettiest pastel paper and covered in warm coats of sunlight are the flowers that say "congrats" whenever I need a reminder. Even if it's just for a moment.